Yes, this is a total procrastination strategy that I'm employing while here in the library.
Recently there has been a lot of discussion about what it takes to fly these days. I would like to add to the discussion on our blog that two people read. Haha. Why write about it then? Well, I feel like I have an opinion and I'm not very good at expressing it in the condensed form of a tweet or facebook status. So here goes...
As a student I have a really great job that is super flexible. I get paid to drive teenagers who are currently in treatment at a residential facility to local appointments: dentist, gynecologist, podiatrist, court, etc. I've held hands for cavities, pap smears and hang nails. Part of my job also includes taking our clients to the airport for when they go on home visits. I routinely drive to the airport and go through security at least once a week because my job requires I escort them to the gate. Through this lens of frequent security screenings and gate sittings, (yes, I sometimes wake up with the Big Sister alert ringing in my ears about not watching other people's bags) and while I admittedly never actually get on any flights, I feel I can personally comment here with confidence on TSA procedure and how I feel about it.
Just like discussing with a client where they would like to eat after I take them through security I also discuss with them what kind of screening they would prefer. I think people often forget to consider this before actually being confronted with the consequence of forgetting, like in the case of water still being in your water bottle.
I'll only comment here on my experience with Salt Lake City Airport because that is where almost all of my experience comes from. I'm not going to look up what TSA regulation is for the "average" airport because a)I'm too lazy and 2) my comments may not generalize to the "average" flight experience. (I'll address this last point at the end)
Going through SLCA there are signs. Along with the signs that inform you what you can take with you through security, after showing my boarding pass and ID to a TSA agent, I then have a choice which line to go through and at the beginning of the line with the body scanner there is a sign. It shows a picture of a body scan, instructs you how to stand and informs travelers those reviewing the scans cannot physically see you as you go through. I won't discuss the politics of the use of body scans here and you know, I'm not even going to share my own views about them, but I am more than willing to say that if you know how to buy a plane ticket then you are literate enough to read the signs about your options for security measures in order to travel. Be smart and realize you are fully capable of choosing your own adventure: body scan or metal detector. In my opinion, choosing the line for the body scanner, refusing to then be scanned and then saying, "No. I will not comply with a pat down," is the equivalent of saying, "I was too busy to read the sign." We read signs which regulate and prohibit our travel "rights" all the time... speed limits, traffic lights, "click it or ticket", and maybe you know that is another issue entirely, (big brother laws that cite you for not wearing a seat belt) but the point is there is a sign. Read it. If you are worked up over a fine because you were late for a flight and failed to read the sign, went in the body scanner line and then refused to have a "physical pat-down,"... go commiserate with everyone who gets speeding tickets because they were late to an appointment and were too busy to pay attention to the way they were also traveling. What about my travel rights? Do I have the right to expect you to be a responsible traveler? I guess I'm just saying that if you are going to complain about the rules, be responsible enough to read them before you break them, yeah?
While I'm at it, I'm going to take on Ben Franklin. In contrast to his more stately and wise offerings he once apparently said that those "who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." What a judgmental and irresponsible thing to say! Who are you Ben Franklin to tell me how to define my own view of liberty? Does it have to be the same as yours for me to deserve what you consider to be essential? According to you, my political competence not only suggests whether or not I qualify for civil liberty but also my right to personal safety. Doesn't sound very unalienable to me. Also, BF, because you are so wonderfully quotable, and people listen to you, they like to use this quote as a response to invalidate another person's view by telling them they don't deserve whatever their personal definition of liberty is because it is different than their own. See how that works? Don't worry, I'll smile back at your picture when I see it on a bank note, because a) it means I'm holding a hundred dollar bill and 2) you're American just like me and just as on this here blog you can say whatever you want and so can those other people. Doesn't mean I have to like it. Don't get me wrong, I love being American. I love being able to have whatever idiotic and ignorant opinion I wish to ascribe to. Just don't tell me when and whether or not I deserve the choice to decide what that is. I may (or may not) just go out and vote about it. And really that's what I think it should come down to, right?
Here follows a guide to traveling this season:
1) Take an Airborne and use hand sanitizer
2) Wear slip on shoes/boots
3) Wear socks under these shoes/boots... lots of sweaty feet are going to be walking where you are going to
4) You really don't need everything you packed, but I get it. Americans like to have options and I'm no exception.
5) If you are sick and traveling, that bottle of 3oz+ pepto or cough syrup you forgot you had in your bag does not have to go in the trash. TSA may tell you it does but tell them you are sick and need it. You won't get slapped with an $11,000 fine.
6) Educate yourself BEFORE you go to the airport. You said you did in order to purchase your ticket. (Online at least. When was the last time you used a travel agent?)
Here's the list of approved items:
http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/holiday.shtm
Advanced Screening procedure overview:
http://www.tsa.gov/approach/tech/ait/index.shtm
7) If you are in a hurry (or just impatient) LOOK to consider your options and read the signs. Body scan or metal detector? Grandma in a wheel chair with multiple artificial joints or a family of five, (stroller and five dvd players/laptops each for the kids)? You choose your own adventure.
Hopefully you are better at choosing lines than Eric. He has the MOST amazing talent of picking the longest line at the grocery store. Sometimes I have the urge to buy something separate just to race him and win. Haha.
For the record, if you haven't noticed, I'm glad there is someone checking to make sure your aren't wearing a diaper bomb because there really isn't a generalizable flight experience:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/11/22/airports.holiday.travel/index.html?iref=NS1
Other nuggets for consumption:
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/nov/16/big-sisters-police-state/
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/11/22/snowglobes-pumpkin-pie-tsa-issues-thanksgiving-rules-air-travel/
http://patriotpost.us/opinion/r-emmett-tyrrell/2010/11/18/pat-me-pat-me/
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/nov/22/tsa-chief-worries-over-body-scan-protest/
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20022876-503544.html
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40320562/ns/travel-news/
"Don't touch my junk"
How to write to your representative:
http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/uscongress/a/letterscongress.htm
How to find out who your representative is:
https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml
5 comments:
Love it. And the best part was when you brought down BF's good name. Hilarious. Second best part; why are you suggesting Airborne? That stuff is totally a rip off. "Invented by a kindergarden teacher because she was sick of teaching and wanted to make money." Love you.
I have been following the hoopla about the body scans and pat-downs and so far you I like your point of view best. Well put.
I especially love that twice in this post, you made lists that consisted of options a) and 2).
Regarding Airborne, it works for me. I get laryngitis often enough that I can feel it coming on, and Airborne will stop it. (Also, I'm not going to begrudge the former kindergarten teacher her fortune... I wouldn't last 5 seconds in a kindergarten. And as much as I love teaching, if I could get filthy rich doing something as simple as Airborne, I would happily scamper into my principal's office with a resignation letter and not think twice about it.)
Finally, ALL Parkses have that talent for picking the worst line. We are also pretty good at guaranteeing that whichever lane of traffic we're driving in will become the slowest as soon as we enter it.
Oops. I'm pretty sure my flippant statement re teachers was misinterpreted. Lots of love to teachers everywhere.
@Johanna, you are adorable. No offense taken at all. :)
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